"Of predictions and bypass routes"

Is there something on my ‘mind’?

            

Why, yes!

Predictions…..prophecy……

Astrology, ….mistry, ……logy, ….ing, ….ult, ….logy et.al !

“What has future in store for me?”

This, I believe, appeals equally to my ‘utterly ignorant mind’ as to your vastly knowledgeable ones…..a matter of great interest to delve (shall I say deep?) unto!

And, how I love foreknowledge to all future happenings!!!

(For God’s sake, don’t be so naive as to censure me, “what f….n fun would there be in your f….n life, once you knew every damned bit of it?”)

But the greatest paradox ever is that being privy to such knowledge and whether or not one likes that which were to happen, none would like to be questioned as to what the hell could one do about a certain thing that one wouldn't like to happen.

There of course, are readily-laid-out routes to bypass any & every unsavory occurrence / bad phase in one's present or future life, offered on a platter by those Gurus or God-men/women who claim glory to have altered the course of innumerable lives (except their own) …… if only one were willing to compensate (in cash or kind or both) for that off-the-rack, proprietary solution.

So I pay someone to know my future and yet again, that very someone or some other one, to provide me the ticket to go the bypass route!

Now, it’s time to get down to serious business….

“Oh, no please,” pleads my old fatigued mind. “Need some rest, can’t go about astrology kind of a dense topic right now,” it says.

No way but to excuse it till a later date!

"Exports...."

Global exports:

USA exports WAR 

PAKISTAN exports TERRORISM

And what does INDIA? 

Nothing worth mention of....

The only commodity India can export and live without is......

the huge Stacks of CON-GRASS....unfit for domestic consumption - human or otherwise!

Can India export and offload its rotten stock at least by 2014?

"Wanna escape the Digital reach? No way!"

Isn’t it inhuman of FB to ask ‘what’s on your mind?’ knowing well that my mind is still in a swirl? ......not that I expect Facebook to behave any human though! 

I suffered this ‘blocked-mind’ the other day, but had a lucky escape from what otherwise could have been a ‘busted-bottom’ as a free add-on. 

The how and what of it, I’ll tell you once my mind clears up a bit.


* * * * * *

Hitherto, Mahesh babu alone had that killer ‘punch’ to ‘block' your 'mind'! 

But, could he do the same to those beyond his ‘physical reach’? Nope!

These modern days, he can't keep us awed anymore …...that is all passé! 

Wonder why?

* * * * * *

Tell me, what chances does that great Bruce Lee have against the genius of our Rajnikant in a fight? 

Zero that is equal to 0! 

Don’t look so damned confounded….

Simple truth is, Bruce Lee can only fight physically, but none the way our Rajni baba can! 

Exploits of our Rajni are gravity-defying, of which the Lee fellow has the least idea! 

Got the point? Still, No? 

Okay, let me explain!

You can stay clear off the ‘physical reach' of Bruce Lee, but never beyond the ‘digital reach’ of Rajni dear! 

Simple na?

* * * * * * 

Uh, I recollect now…... 

It all happened on that fateful night….when I sat within the ‘digital reach’ of our "7th/43rd century-non-definable-phenomenon" called Ra….......!

No, no, not Rajni baba, did I not say it was the 7th/43rd cent....non-def.....phen....?

Gawd, you truly deserve to get your minds blocked and bottoms busted! 

Don’t plead that you needed more time to recover from the last shocker.

Arre yaar, these are no ordinary times….no mock-drills anymore….don’t you realize it’s run-up time for the grand polls?….an emergency? ......time for you to pull up socks, tighten belts and brace up pronto with the best of chest-ups to brave the incessant shockers aimed your way?

Aaah, now you know….who else? yeah, yeah…. it’s the charming prince of erudite eloquence and darling of the nation! 

Yes, no wonder the media needs him real bad....to dole out their daily quota of subsistence! No, not fodder….don’t you ever lock horns with Lalu's cow-herds!

* * * * * *
It is fine with me, the old, unencumbered that I am. 

But you, youngsters need adequate life cover before venturing to face the ‘7/43c.non-de.ph'! 

True of course, the risk of 'going insane' can't be insured against!

* * * * * *

Though enough braced-up as ever I was, the prescription of ‘escape velocity of Jupiter’ made me wince and go 'near-brain-dead'! 

I suffered a severely ‘blocked-mind’ but seated as I was in a chair, escaped the freebie I was referring to....the ‘busted-bottom’!

The best of the Medical fraternity advised me the ‘only antidote’ available for my condition on date......FB, the miracle medicine!

So now, my dear fellow faces, don’t underestimate the TV screen, taking it for an innate object that can do no harm! 

Be wary of what 'digital reach' is capable of....those spills of atrocious wisdom from the ‘7/43c.non-de.ph' coming off your TV screens and hitting against your fragile brains!

Forget dalit empowerment for now; go save your beans as best you can!

On your Guard? 

Well yes, that’s a lot better now….you might survive past 2014 to show your happy faces back on FB!

"Innocent Nonsense!"

There is a certain matter bothering my ‘mind’ these days...... 

Why do kids of the day lose innocence at an age far earlier than you did?

I hear people attributing it to an overload of information.

If it were so, how a similarly placed Rahul G could retain his kid-like innocence?

No denying that Rahul baba defended him-self against all attempts by this wicked world to violate his virgin innocence for 43+ long years, which for sure, is a record of sorts!

So far as I knew, he never took it any kindly to people who went hoarse goading him, ‘Grow up kid!’

Isn’t it possible that your kids too retained their innocence the way Rahul G could? 

I stoutly refute those corrupt minds who say that a 43 year old can no longer be a kid or innocent! 

Rahul proved all such people wrong when he told the world, “my mother told me, what words I used in the ‘press club’ against the proposed ordinance was wrong!”’. 

Tell me, how many of the new age kids enjoy such honest innocence? 

That people equate ‘pristine innocence’ to ‘idiocy’ is another matter and the world abounds in all kinds of vicious minds. 

Just concede that Rahul G is in a league by him-self! 

Of course, there is a lot to do with the birth and brought-up, I concede.

But then, don’t waste my precious time and your own breath, arguing that all kids can't have Sonias for mothers and Gandhis for fathers! 

Find some other reason, Okay? 

And ha, don't mix up innocence with nonsense......

"Pray pardon my ignorant mind!"

I heard someone say that Americans these days are a 'pissed off' lot with our beloved MMS!

"The Indian PM sets his foot on American soil......American government shuts down!"

I am annoyed at this half-baked truth! 

How come they make such mean aspersions against MMS?

I vehemently contest this....I mean, there is a limit to discredit his abilities! 

It is only a "Partial shut-down" what they had after his visit, while we, Indians credit MMS with the "Total shut-down" in India! 

Whatever, the true Indian that I am, I celebrate the power of the MMS leg!

Pray pardon my ignorant 'mind'....

"Knowledge is power!"

‘Knowledge is power’ is what generally is said and believed to be. 
Of course, it is! 
One ought to aim and gain as much of it as one can. 
Quite true!

That said, it is the amount of ‘Common sense’ we possess and ‘Prudence’ we exercise in matters of life that keep us afloat in this world while knowledge, as always, is a perk. 

‘Knowledge’ being a vastly relative and an abstract term is common knowledge.
Of what one can attain in the span of a whole life time is just a minuscule of the available.

Enough if one realizes this.


Tail piece:

What are you left with in life if your one and only objective is but to gain knowledge and knowledge alone?

It exactly is why sages like me proclaimed that ‘Ignorance is Bliss’!

Now you shouldn't wonder why I always kept myself ‘ignorant’ rather than ‘knowledgeable’.

Take my advice and push your knowledge to the backseat where it belonged!

Be forever blissful!!!

"iPad Spirituality!"

Ah...the moment I open FB, the same bloody poser stares at me….'What’s on your mind?'

It sounds like “pehchan kaun?” from that comedy show on TV….or like Bhetala who isn't ever tired of testing Vikramaditya!

Oh, am I not pleasantly surprised to realize that my 'face' on FB does have a 'mind' after all?!!!

Gracias.... 

Well then, I would rather spill my beans....

******

Okay, the 'jobless' that I am, am now on a portal which claims to be the only one of its kind to promote 'spirituality'! Fortunately FB doesn't stake claim to any such grandiosity!

Among those thousands of its members, the community I am telling about can really boast of quite a few brilliant thinkers and writers. I feel extremely happy going through their wise contributions! A platform without parallel, where one finds great diversity in thought and expression!

But then, there too are certain glitches, glaringly visible. 

Alas, we can never find anything good sans one or the other annoying elements in this universe!

Yes, the admin have many a scheme in place to encourage active participation by all and sundry (such as I am)!

One such recent initiative was the monthly ‘BlogStar’ contest - with an ‘iPad mini’ on the offer to whosoever won the “BlogStar of the Month” title! And with what great results?!!!

Like us ordinary mortals, certain spiritual seekers too can't contain the base human tendencies lurking underneath their philosophical facades from surfacing overnight......What for but to win something tangible like a (silly) ' iPad mini', if not that (bizarre) 'title' itself!

Many who used to contribute some four / five blogs a month, straightaway got into business in right earnest, raining on us thunderous spiritual blogs at lightning speeds of  thirty or so a month, attaining great spiritual heights in the process. 

Besides all the spiritual genius, they showcased worldly skills too with equal ease and finesse in their own innovative ways of manipulating the star ratings, comments, shares etc. all of which to boost their point-count and win that coveted(?) ‘title’!

In this devilishly stormy scenario, an aggrieved blogger poured out his anguish in his post! Yours truly, as you all well know by now, could not help but volunteer with his “Free Tips” on how to win this spiritual battle ever so effortlessly!………………….….

I reproduce here-under what all I advised them on that 'spiritual' portal:

"Okay, I have these 'Free Tips' on offer to anyone aspiring to WIN the 'BlogStar' title (& that iPad mini) with a resounding BANG:

(1) Keep quiet for a month - make out 6/7/8....even 10 or more blogs a day - on any and every idiotic topic you can think of (pretty simple) - keep a ready-to-use stockpile of that junk!  [ammunition]

You don't need any originality of thought or expression - only the numbers count.

Tip:
(a) Copy paste anything from the 'Net'
(b) Add an Introductory & a Concluding sentence and give it a good enough Title
(c) Acknowledge source: 'Internet' ['blanket cover' - you are now 'honesty personified!']

(2) Create some 20/30 - as many profiles as you can! Post a few comments from each such profile on others' blogs during this 'preparatory' month - to make them look authentic. [logistics]

(3) A moral can always be added at the end of each blog - an expression of your moral hunger:

"How sad people have become so dishonest these days? Don't we STians have a sacred duty to uphold virtues as best we can?"

[You can go on shuffling the first & second questions just for a change, in each blog]

(4) For novelty, you may also say:

"Have a purpose in life and Work to that end - Doesn't matter even if it is as small as winning an iPad mini!

[No harm repeating the same in each of your blogs!]

(5) So now you are ready for the assault!

From the 1st of the following month, start throwing all your (own!) blogs at those, sitting underneath the 'Silent ST' with a missionary zeal @10/day!...........................................

(6) Post three comments per each of your 'creatively created profiles' and your ignorant / innocent replies on them!

*************
Receivable: iPad mini

Payable     : Honesty & Self-respect [nothing in fact....I don't have any!]
*************

"Rules are for Fools" [I don't intend to be one!]
*************

When you undertook a pious project, say, like lifting a new pair of shoes from a marriage pandal or such place & were on the exit route, nothing should distract you......no shouts, police whistles....whatever, from behind!

After all you have a purpose in life and a goal to achieve!

Ain't it?

Spiritually yours,

zukzukzuk

Tail piece:

Everybody wants to go to heaven....but nobody wants to die! [anonymous]

How come?